Over the last few weeks I’ve had friends and family visit me out here in Las Vegas. Yes, it’s a place where a lot of people like to visit, but it’s also about a five hour flight from where I used to live. Most of our visitors flew out of Philadelphia which is about an hour drive from my hometown. My point? I’m so beyond grateful for the friends and family in my life. Moving thousands of miles away from everyone and everything I knew was challenging in itself, but I was more worried that the extrovert in me that always had people over was going to go nuts being alone.
I had to learn to be alone and I had to learn to make new friends. But, this time I focused on people that actually benefited my life and people that were good for me. I’ve mentioned in other blogs how I cut a lot of people out over the last few years and some of them might even be reading this. Well if you are and I don’t talk to you anymore chances are you did not benefit my life in any way, shape, or form. So, uh, sorry not sorry pal.
When we are younger we care about having a ton of friends, but the older we get we (should) realize that the quality of those friendships and relationships matter more than anything. Take a minute to think about what you do when something bad happens in our lives. Whether you are someone who holds things in or, like me, talks to the world about their problems. We all rely on our circle. We all rely on our friends and family to lift us up, to be our support, to push us when we need it, etc. If your foundation isn’t strong and isn’t healthy or beneficial, then chances are your life is probably not how you would want it to be.
You’ve heard the famous, “you are who you associate with,” line and that’s a fuckin’ fact. Surround yourself with people who benefit you, surround yourself with people whom you want to be. Surround yourself with people that support you and push you to be a better person. Also, surround yourself with people who will speak the truth to you when you need to hear it. For a fact, I have those people in my life. Most of my friends are individuals that have been in my life for at least five years. They’ve seen me at my worst and what I would like to say, my best so far. But let me assure you, they all had something to say when I was in a bad place. They are mainly the reason I am where I am today, because I had a good core group of friends who knew I was better than the coke-addicted, bartender living in an apartment that her married boyfriend paid for. Like I said, shit was bad.. but they were there.
Cutting out people is difficult but you never need to explain why or why not people are in your circle. You are in control of your space and no one can take that away from you. My point? Choose your friends wisely, choose your relationships wisely and remember that you’re making progress and not perfection.